Life is the art of drawing without an eraser

Life began with waking up and loving my

Mother's face.

It's been a time of reflection for me.  My husband
has been out of town on business, my kids 
all live far away, and I am home
with a cold, my warm "woobie" and hot cider.

Today the snow slid off the roof of the cabin, and it 
sounded like an earthquake.  
It disturbed the frenzy of the birds feeding 
from the feeder off the porch. 

I put on my boots and headed out the door, to shovel.
After about 15, minutes I was tuckered out
and headed back inside, to fix up some supper.

It is hard to fix a meal, for just myself, but I knew my 
guy would be getting in sometime this evening.
So I set about preparing a caserole
from, my youth...you know, the kind camouflaged
with creamy sauce, browned meat, onions, mushrooms and noodles, cheese on top, and 
crushed potato chips to give it a little crunch.  


The finished product looked good, but honestly
my "smeller" was not working, so 
I could not give it that endorsement.  
No smell, no taster either.


I had finished up my "to do list"...so sat down with a good book.
I only had about 50 more pages, and cried through all of it.  
What is it, that when you are sick, everything
is so much more emotional?
Or is it, that I am truly on the down slide of life?


I've never thought about any part of my life being
"the down slide"...even with all of 
the heartache we have lived through.  There has just been
to many wonderful sunrises, and sunsets, and just 
plain good old fashioned JOY*

 

 

 ...that moment when you're folding your little one's laundry

and realize their clothes aren't quite so 

little anymore.

LG, is over in Montana today.  But it is good to have him in 
the near proximity of home.  He is the embodiment
of  "my better half "...he completes me.

I laughed and told him, that I have to bunch up pillows
on his side of the bed, when he is gone, because I hate rolling over
and feeling that empty space, and the sheets that are so cold.
He just laughs and holds me close, and says once again, that I 
am "certifiable".


We have the urn, that holds my Mom, here at the cabin.

Today, I happened to look up, as the sun was
streaming through the window, shining off
the gold adornment of her encasement.  It shocked me
in the clarity of thought that came to me.

"Jamie, never forget how much you are loved."

I still have the last two voice mails from her on my phone.
Even in her lowest moments, she was always
trying to build up those around her.
I know how debilitating pain can be, just the little that 
I have lived through, makes her attitude...priceless.

Did she have a road map for life? 
NO
She lived for the moment 
and sometimes when I am feeling low I want to throw
blame at her for not instilling in me
more of a want...to do better.

I say that with tongue in cheek, because really she lived her 
life with love, music, color, and the 
ability to make everyone in her presence feel good
about themselves, and THAT, is really
what we should all strive for.

She taught me, everything she could to sustain life,
get through heartache,
sing when you are sad, serve others,
and reconstitute leftovers!!!!
 
When I grow up, I hope I can be half the woman she was.
She was the magic.
Life happened, and through it all
she wove her timeless miracles.  The decorations for holidays,
the home cooked meals,
the love of music, that bounced off the walls.

She drew life, without using an eraser.

If you don't believe in miracles, perhaps you've 

forgotten you are one! 

Music is...what feelings sound like.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, 

owned, earned or worn.

It is the spiritual experience of living every minute

with love, grace and gratitude." 

 

Dennis Waitley

The other day, I asked my daughter what  was her earliest recollection of life.  She kind of hummed, hawed around and 

then said she didn't know.  I left it at

that.

I had been working on an outline for a 

project I am starting about 

LIFE.

Thus the question.

My earliest memory is not a pleasant one, but it has made

me look for the goodness in life ever since.

I must have been about four years old.

I had been asked by my Mother to go in and clean the bathroom,

and to be sure and mop around the toilet.

I went in, with brush, comet, a mop pail and rags.  Mind you 

I am four.  On the floor is a little pork and bean at the base of the commode.

Dried up, and non assuming, but it was in a place I could not for the life of me figure out how it had gotten there.

I started to gag.

My Mom, comes running in and starts yelling, "Don't you go messing up the bathroom, you are supposed to be cleaning it!"

Oh my goodness~

  *** 

I am 60 years "young"...
I love to putter around the house.  To this day
I love cleaning the bathroom.
If I am ever sick with the intestinal flu, I make sure
I throw up, quick and get it over with!
 

 

Keep the people close who are happy for your happiness,

and sad in your sadness.

These are the ones who deserve a special

place in your heart.

I have been richly blessed in very special friendships throughout
my life.  
It is amazing the memories one can pull up
through a song, or smell...or driving 
along a specific street.

For instance, my childhood friend who I had a sleepover
with almost every weekend, until we started
Jr. High, is the one I think of when ever I bite into an apple,
or use BABY MAGIC, lotion.
We climbed a lot of apple trees, and that special pink
lotion, was our lotion of choice...always!


I will forever hold close to my heart the special relationship
of a cousin who I lived next door to for several 
years.  We loved to color,
and if given the time and our chores were done
we could practice our craft for hours.
It is this love that has 
afforded me
to be somewhat of an illustrator.


Junior High, was a little different.
When I open up my scriptures, I think of my friend Laurie
who I sat by in Seminary, and we practiced writing 
our names in fancy, unique script...so that
when we were famous we would
have an unusual signature that no one could duplicate.
It is also, where I had my first taste in liking
to express myself in print. 


Representing our Student Council, is where
 I truly realized, that I could
be a friend to everyone... and meant it.
 
***

High School.

Where do I start?

I think  that will be best for another day.
 

The harsh reality of life, hit me when I heard of the
death of my very first boyfriend...who
was my play friend, who ran away with me to
discover the Hobo Camp, near the railroad tracks.
Who went ice-skating every Saturday, with me and my cousin.
Who picked cherries with me, and made the
trek to the nearest swimming hole, on a regular basis.

Who asked me to marry him, when we were in seventh grade,
and I had to turn him down.

Had not heard from him for years.  Losing track of
someone who had that kind of hold on
your heart, no matter how young you were, is NOT a good thing, ever.

I hope he knows, that his personality, his laugh and love of
life has paid great dividends where I am
concerned.

That in some small regard, I am striving to pass 
 that goodness forward.

***

I find happiness in the simplest of things.

Music is ...what feelings
sound like.

Think of why...you started

Everyone is trying to accomplish something big...

and not realizing that "LIFE" 

is made up of an array of little things.

I'm so excited!  2015 is here, and with it

365 different possibilities!

I was laying in bed last night and had a flashback of  the time in kindergarten where we "flitted" to the

Dance of the Bumblebee! 

 

I was in kindergarten, and it was magic.

The spell was of course was the tutu, the giggling of all the 

little ones, the lighting, and the dizzy sounds we were dancing to!

A friend is someone who understands your past,

believes in your future...

and accepts you just the way you are.

I don't know why I never danced again.

I am sad, that I never offered that experience to my own little girls.

They say, that hindsight is truly 20/20. 

I know that money was a concern...there was never enough 

to go around for "extras".

But that should not have been an excuse. 

If there is a will...

you will always find a way!

 I have watched my sweet daughter in law

make life happen, for her little Ruby.

Exposing her to so many experiences.

Tutu's, ice skating, mermaid costumes, play dates,

pre-school.

The second hand store is their favorite place to go.

She finds everything she needs, wants

desires...and her little darling is 

happy! 

 

The secret of genius

is to carry the spirit of the child

into your old age,

which means never losing your enthusiasm!

I have found other areas, to keep my heart young!

I surround myself, at every opportunity to

work with, teach and mentor children.

And I am the one who comes away with the memories...

the laughs, the brutal honesty,

the quick hugs and forgiveness, the paint smears,

occasional tears, the color of life!

***

I have found that YOU, are the magic.

Whatever you deem worthy of your time, hang onto it.

Work at your craft, pour your soul into it,

until it becomes what you visioned.

Make a plan.

Work your plan.

Expect to be~

 

Those who don't believe in magic...

will never find it.

2015...

365  

 Possibilities! 

You're better than the best...

 

Life likes to be taken by the lapel and told:

Come on kid, let's go! 

As an adult, and now a very "seasoned" one,

I find myself drifting back to wonderful, moments of the past.

It is  special beyond words,

to stumble upon the 

simplest of things in word, or music.

And it's even more rewarding to see that the same goodness 

is affecting my grand kids as much

as it did me, way back when.

 

 What is around us is always speaking to us...

sending little messages, causing

coincidences and serendipity's...reminding us

to stop, to look around, 

to believe in something else,

something more. 

The human spirit needs places where nature

has not been rearranged by 

the hand of man.

 So at this very special time of year, when we

find reasons to gather,

when the snow falls silently

and the bells chant

their unique song, when all the hours

of the day are filled with magic...

 remember who you are.

A child of the King~ 

You are better than the best.