Maybe its not about a happy ending...maybe it's about the story...Part III

 ...if plan A, does not work...

don't worry

the alphabet has 25 more letters!

So here we are at

41 years of "figuring IT out"... 

I've thought a lot about what to share and what not,

you know sometimes you probably really should not share

THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY...

But I am committed to sharing

truthfully.

What goes into a marriage of 39 years?

For us, it was five amazing, unique children.  

Skeet, Rock, Zack, Starr & Britt

Living between

Utah, Wyoming and Idaho...

Trying numerous avenues to generate income...

Dreaming BIG....falling hard...picking yourself up. 

Dreaming more.

Apartments, trailers, building our own home.

Bankruptcy.

No major illnesses...but 

Losing a son, to the ravages of Rx addiction. 

Losing a son-in-law to a head on collision.

For LG, numerous broken bones...

C-5 vertebrae

lower back

ribs.

For me, just asthma, and the cold that won't ever go away

a scare last spring with blood clots...

but mostly, just getting "older".

***

This is definitely the Reader's Digest version.

*** 

I remember one time, when we were still in the process of 

figuring US, out.

I had been pretty down. 

 I was tired of the continual commitment

of NOT giving up...the day in and day out
grind was beginning to take it's toll.

 The kids, their problems, schooling,

my parents problems...my siblings problems...

getting to all the ball fields in the state on time,

with goodies in the car for afterwards...

(We had some all-star ball players in our little family).

Working full-time, holding

church callings that were demanding...

never enough time in the day, to feel like

I was on top of things.

I wanted OUT.

I figured if LG, had a reason big enough to not like me

any more...to maybe even hate me...

he would let me go.

So one night, we are laying in bed, and I tearfully roll over

and share something about myself...something

that was broken...something that had happened,

before we found each other.

It was horrible, it was dark...and it made me shameful.

I'm choking on my sobs...I just want this to be over.

I want him to release me...and truly find the happiness 

he deserves. 

I'm waiting...waiting...and he just gathers me up in his arms

and says, "I was so afraid, you were going to 

tell me you did not love me anymore."

 

...really what more is there to be said

about the man, who 

has this on his

ring tone...

for you

His woman?

No matter what the storm...we have learned to weather it.

I can honestly say,

 I know if there are two parts of the heart working

you have a very amazing and 

AWESOME 

relationship,

but if only half, is functioning

properly...that half will work extra hard

until the heart is whole.

When that happens,

there is not a word to describe

the incredible sureness

of what you have.  

 

So Babe,

this is for you:

"Little Greatness"...man of eternal service and sunshine,

laughter and love...Gizzard grabber!

Who has shared your love of the outdoors, sports, 

hunting, fishing...exploring with ALL of us.

We will never be the same.

It is in our DNA, to struggle and attain~

You have not doubted:  Your Mother knew it...

Your love of singing...your love of the Gospel.

Your love of Louis L'Amour...

chocolate kisses, home-made ice cream...banana pudding,

Carolina Treat,

real fried chicken...elk steaks, home grown tomatoes,

marinara sauce (to die for)...sauteed mushrooms,

tying flies, skinning an elk...Led Zepplin, Neil Young..

Papovarti, The Mo Tabs...

puppy chow for the monster fish,

an afternoon of playing catch...cutting wood, stacking wood....

a "life line" for provoking questions.

The world's greatest cuddler...whether the demons are out or not.

Someone, who if given a chance, will forgive

All, because you do know what

the Atonement

is about.

Oh, my sweetheart, I am rambling all over the place, in memories

of you.  YOU are LIFE!

You are bacon & grits, eggs, biscuits and gravy...any time any place.  If this was your fare day in and day out,

you would eat happily.

Hey my ruggedly handsome, blue-eyed bandit...

I could write an entire book on how you manage to get us 

all to laugh...at YOU, at ourselves...

at the idiots, around us.

Your famous line:  "Get over it!"

Simply the best advice ever, I think it is what The Savior,

would say...you have just made it yours,

in your matter of fact, declaration.

 LG, dressed up for me

in sporting the moment

of Christmas morning.  For the man, who has 

everything...I could not think of 

what to get him.

Thus the wide red suspenders...and Duck Dynasty hat.

The other day, when we were working on the wood...

it was like the "old days", side by side...

climbing another mountain 

together.

My heart will always be with you, my soul beside you...

my laughter inside of you.

If this Eternity thing is for real...

I will love you

till the day after forever.

 

 

Maybe...it's not about the happy ending...maybe it's about the story: Part II

...a pretty face gets old

a nice body will change...

but

a good woman, will always be a good woman

:)

So yes, the day of the blind date came.

I was about to call and break it because I had already

been horse riding earlier in the day

and I was wore out.

I went to dial the phone and give HIM

a call, and then I got the strongest feeling not to, and I heard 

a voice, "Jamie, you can't do this..."

I turned around and looked to see if it was my Mom, who

had sneaked in the room.

No one was there...must have been my conscience

getting the best of me, and well

I had promised Portia,

one date with her son, LeGrand.

*****

The knock on the door came,

I peered through the glass, and kind of smiled.

There stood "The Kid"...blue jeans, flannel shirt

and leather cowboy hat...

and under that

the bluest of eyes I had ever seen.

A stroll through the mall, dancing, and pizza at 

The Rusty Nail, it was time to go 

park, and get down to some serious business...

We talked, talked, and talked some more,

shared our favorite music, our dreams, our 

hearts...and smooched~ a lot!

Four and a half hours into the night he got around to asking

me a question.  "Jamie, do you care if I date a little?"

I thought this was way weird...what could be behind that question?

I never ever "chased" guys...I was usually running from them...

but after this evening, I had already come up

with some strategy of how to stay in 

this mans life.

But I nonchalantly answered, "No...why?" 

"Well, I want to ask you to marry me..."

All night long, this son of The South, had been quite

sure of himself.   It wasn't a bad thing, it was actually very refreshing,

but I still felt like I needed to blow his mind.

"YES...YES, LeGrand Ellison, I will marry YOU!"

Sealed it with a kiss...he even had a silver spoon ring in his pocket.

Four months later we were married...and then the 
story really began.

***** 

To say, it was perfect...I would need to hear what your
definition of perfect is.

See, that's where people get into trouble, they start
comparing, or they have an unrealistic idea of
what "Happily Ever After " really means.

It's the journey...

It's the crazy, hysterical, day in and day out of commitment.
It's the bad hair days, waking up with stinky breath,
it's sick kids, and no personal time,
it's dirty dishes in the sink, and you get a call that 
company is on the way.
It's no money, and a lot of bologna sandwiches.
It's cars and trucks needing new tires,
it's buying yourself new bath towels, when your husband
purchases a new fishing rod.
 It's screaming at the top of your lungs, 
"pull this car over, right now, and let me out!"...
and then, making up later.

It's drinking from stemmed glassware, when really you would rather
fill up your Texas tumbler, but it makes your wife happy
to set a nice table.

It's being able to stand your ground, and yet relent...when you
realize you are wrong...
and then, it's asking to be forgiven.
It's saying you're
sorry...
it's about making up!  
:) 

It's about coming home and finding a flower on your pillow,
or all of the candles, lit in the house at Halloween!

It's looking out the window, and when the most glorious sunset
is happening you run to get your lover
so that they can enjoy it with you.

It's singing together, and when you can't remember 
the words, you make 'em up.

It's laughing hysterically, over something really stupid,
but it feels so good, you can't stop!

It's trying to smile through a gift like a gun...when really
you would have rather had a weekend
away.

It's about taking at least one bite, of whatever has
been prepared for you...even if it means
not chewing it but swallowing it whole! 

It's about parenting...mistakes, triumphs, unspeakable
JOY...and Sorrow.

*

A perfect marriage is
just two people who refuse to give up on
each other.

*

 It's like buying a pair of boots that are just
a wee bit to tight, but you put 'em on
anyway...walking through
the puddles of 
everyday use, and by and by
they become the ones you reach for everyday.
They become your
favorite.

I will never forget the first time I stepped out on the porch
and found a clump of downy looking fur, or
something on the porch...
what it was, was
hair!
 LG, had shaved his head, and left the remains
on the porch...to just fly away with the
wind, only there was not a whisper
in the air.

I tried to not be furious!  First of all I was grateful
that it was not the remains of a dead
animal, left for me to find...then I just grabbed a broom
and swept it up.
After that I never found another pile of 
"fur" anywhere.

When he asked his Mom, to come and teach me how to
cook, I had to swallow a lot of Twitchell
pride.  I had never fried chicken
with the skin on,
and I sure as
heck, did not know anything about grits,
black-eyed peas, or baby lima's.


Over the years we combined traditions and created more 
of our own, and it has been okay. 


And now, we have a home filled with our own magic,
a place of refuge from the world, where
music, and books, discourse and fun movies
or maybe just silence, are in abundance.


When holding hands at 
prayer, or walking though the store
is the norm.

Sometimes
we can go through most of a day, and not say anything
and yet know exactly what the other is 
thinking.

Do I know, this man of mine, would be there for me
NO MATTER WHAT?
...absolutely...

Do I ever cook anything with squash in in?
...absolutely not!



We have become trees in the forest of life,
knowing that when the roots
are deep...
there is no fear of the wind. 

***

And the best is yet to come...

 

Maybe...it's not about the happy ending...maybe it's about the story: Part I

I like me best

when I'm with you...

February is here...the month of LOVE...


I met my sweetheart on a blind date.
He had been home from his mission for eight days,
been on seven dates with different girls~
I was to be his eighth...and last.



I was not one, to go on blind dates...I had enough to handle in
the constant "asking".  I said yes, a couple of times
because, well I liked the woman who was coordinating it.
I liked her name, Portia, I loved her southern
accent, and I was intrigued with her whole
outlook on life.  She was pure
energy, spunky, and 
nice.

I was working at a hardware store,
when she and her husband, started coming in for supplies 
to finish building their new home
in Provo, Utah.


I went on a couple of dates with a nephew of hers, but
she kept saying, every time she came into the store,


"Now don't be getting serious with anyone, until
you meet my LeGrand."


I would just smile at her, and promise, once again
that I would be available, for at least one date.

I guess I should tell you a little about me
before I get to the "us".

I was the oldest of six brothers and sisters, grew up in a
neighborhood nestled among fruit orchards,
grandparents on both sides of the family
lived on the same street...for years.


I was really a Tom Boy, I would have rather 
run wild after school, climbing trees, building forts,
taking irrigation turns, exploring...creating adventure in the 
simplest of forms,
than play dolls, or dress-ups.
Let me pretend to be a cowboy, or pirate, and I was 
in good company.



All I ever asked for on my birthdays until I was a teenager
was a pair of good jeans, new P.F. Flyers and a 
box of new crayons.
(I have always loved to color).


Heck, my name was Jamie...and it was way
before, it was "cool" to use
it as a girl's name.

I always wondered, if it made my dad, feel a little bit
better, since I was not a "son" that I got
his name...sorta'.  His was James Ephraim... 



My Mom...had different ideas, for her oldest girl,
she was bound and determined to tame my
wild spirit somehow, and so the dolls came too.
I did play with them, but if I was 
given a choice~
let me run. 



Listen and you will hear, the breeze brushing
softly through the trees...
birds singing, your own heart beating...
your soul is waking up,
and
God whispers...This is for you.



Ever since I could voice an opinion, I knew...absolutely
KNEW,  that God, has given us all,
the beauty, and wonderment that we could ever possibly
need, want... and enjoy.


Did you know you can smell grass growing when the sun hits it just right?  And that first cut of summer...or as it's
mulched in autumn with the fallen leaves, is such intoxication.
The earth as it's being tilled, holds so many secrets of new birth...
and
 when we take the time to plant and tend to
the seeds...it becomes such an amazing partnership with
 our Maker.


 

  ...to plant a garden, is to believe in tomorrow...



The sun, as it peeked over the top of Squaw Peak each morning,
and painted Timp...every night.
The stars, oh magic of the night.  Delighting my little heart
upon laying on the ground and looking up.

I never needed, anything new or fancy...just give me some 
time to make my own adventure, and it
happened!


And so, when this cute little woman, in her spunky southern drawl
asked me to wait for one date with her LeGrand,
   well, it was not hard to do.
I loved spontaneity...and surprises!


The day finally arrived.
Dutch treat...blind date.
Hmmmm



He had me at... Hello.
 Must have been something in the accent.

 Whatever we are waiting for...
Peace of Mind
Contentment
Awareness
will only come, when we are ready
to receive...
with an open and grateful heart.



Come back, and share in:

Part II