And upon these, I write the things of my soul...

"....and upon these I write the things of my soul..."

II Nephi 4:15

August is a very special month for me. I love driving, off the mountain through all of the miles and miles, and miles of wheat fields. It is such evidence of wholesome goodness, and HOPE. . Sometimes I will just pull off to the side of the road, turn the truck off and listen to the wind sigh as it blows through the stalks. It seems to be declaring that LIFE in it's turbulence and glory will go on. Life is tough, and wonderful...but, don't cry because "it's" over...smile because it happened! 

The other day, I walked down by the river.  My sweet Mother-in-law was visiting, and she is a walker.

We were captivated by the sun reflected off the water,

the gentle breeze brushing across the 

rocky inlet...and an eagle riding the wind above the tree tops.

Except for the sound of water rolling along, 

and our labored breathing

all was quiet.

It was better than magic, because the moment was real.

August is also  a month of celebration.
We have a grandson Driggs, who shares his birthday on our
middle child Zack's, birthday. 
 
...our memory bank of love is kept alive, and still happening.

"...God sent him to a family..." Elder Webb


Five years ago, in December,
 LG & I were in Utah, putting up a Christmas tree, at Skeet and Heather's house. It had been a night of laughter, a lot of love, and good eats.
Several hours later, in the darkness of early morning... we got the phone call, no parent ever wants to receive.

There is not a day, that goes by where he is not remembered in some, small wonderful way. I get out the CD of his funeral service every now and then, and cry listening to the talks. There is a feeling of unitedness and peace, even with babies and young children, heard squalling in the background. My heart goes out to his sister Brittany, who is battling her own emotions, having recently lost her own husband in a car head on, and trying to quiet her little one.


The common factor in each one, 
is that Zack, loved and was loved by his family.
His brother Rock, tried to come up with one word that described him, and just couldn't...there were several: Joyful...Loving...Caring...Kind. 
 In sobs of grief, his sister Starr, declared to us all...that indeed he was a Simple Man, who loved the mountains, to hunt and fish and was most at ease when in these elements. 
And his elder brother Skeet, "Who is Zack, Ellison?" He is, a son, grandson, uncle, friend, cousin...he is, my brother.


I'm taking the time to post, because I want you all to know, that ZK's good days, were so, so much more...than the hard ones. His heart was good, his addiction took hold, and as much as he fought it, (and fight he did, for 16 years)...in the end, years and years of prescription abuse just messed his body up so much, it did not know how to function correctly...healthy.


In a journal, we found in his handwriting, declarations of his heart, "I just want to be the best neighbor, and for all the children to know, that they are loved by Brother Ellison. 
 I want my brothers and sisters to know that I would die for them, if in doing so would save their lives...
I want to be an honorable leader, respectable and kind. 
 I want to serve and to be loving and generous with my time. 
 I want to be a hard worker. 
I want to be worthy of respect. 
I want to be the man, every wife deserves to have...oh, how I want to quit my bad habits..."

Who is Zack Ellison? 
A son of God, who was sent to a family~

This month is his birthday, he would have been 37.

Gone, but as long as you are remembered

you are not forgotten.

 

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder...

Following your passions and your dreams

is the greatest gift you could give

the world. 

So many, many years ago my first visit to the beach
held for me such wonder...and fear.

I loved walking on it's sandy shores, loved the soft heat that worked itself up through the souls of my feet..loved the grit stuck
in between my toes, loved the smell of briny
seaweed, the odd pieces of driftwood that
was scattered along the way,
and the shells we would
come across.


You thought we had found Fort Knox.
Our treasures were for bartering with, stashing in  secret
"hidey" places 
and hoarding, to take out and relive the magic
of our visit somewhere in the future...
when we were landlocked 
at our home near the mountains.
  

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

~ Ecclesiastes  3:11

In the same breath of my wonderment, was a deep
seeded fear, that if I wandered to far out
I would be sucked up in the waves
never to surface again.

The crashing of the waves fascinated me and terrified me
at the same time.
I found contentment in entertaining myself
making designs in the sand,
building castles,
picnicking,
and watching out for my younger brother
who was fearless, and taunted me
in his adventurous spirit.

Every child is born a naturalist.

their eyes are by nature open to the glory of

the stars, flowers and just the 

mysteries of life...


I married a man, who was raised by the sea, but
fell crazy in love with my mountains
and so our return visits
have been few.


I'm am seasoned now, and I would cherish
a walk along a sandy beach,
submitting to the intoxication of sunshine and water
and a gentle breeze brushing across my cheek,
water lapping against my ankles
as I seek a perfect place to spread out a blanket
with beach chair, umbrella
and a good read.

 

Live your song~

DEAD LAST is greater than DID NOT FINISH...

There are times when each of us simply have to

begin again!

We've all been there...and chances are 

we will be again.

Circumstances vary, but the solution is the same:

JUST BEGIN! 

Dang, it's May already, and the crazy season for
a resort town has begun.

Yesterday, we had some friends over for supper.
It was simple fare, of waffles and 
a breakfast caserole.
We do that quite often...have beakfast
for any meal of the day.

We enjoyed their company and the laughter
and talking, and game playing...
but more than anything, it was just plain
wonderful to talk about the dreams and aspriations
of this sweet, wonderful family.

It made me realize that we are NEVER to old to have 
another dream, work on a bigger goal,
make a plan,
work your plan,
expect to win!

I am in my sixties, but really what does that mean?
I'm older and wiser, and this younger woman
is caught in a body, that is aging.
But I still have the heart of a big kid!
 
It is good to hang out
with youth,
with triumph, and a certain fearlessness
that comes with the
challenge of unmarked territory.
 

Seek to be worth knowing,

rather than well known ~ 

The challenges of raising a family, are still there.
Now, we have grand kids who
we are involved with, in their daily scirmishes
and joys of life.

In sports, in language immersion programs,
in math...reading, music,
and teaching them the joy of responsibility!
Of respect for others and themselves.
Of a love for the out of doors,
the colors that surround us,
the music of a crickets song in the evening.
 

Actually, what we strive for, is the
stubbornness, to not fall short of accomplishing
a goal that is worthy of our time,
but the wisdom to know
if we need to 
readjust, 
and start again with Plan B...
Plan C, D or E.

And still have fun along the way.
 
 

When your actions align with your passion...

let the magic begin!

I am reminded of grandparents who were
survivors of the depression.
Life was a constant struggle, but it was their
example that taught me to be resourceful,
to love and look for the 
simple joys in life.

To re- purpose leftovers,
that any flower looks good blooming in an old can,
that you can make do with what you have
and be happy.

That the secret to a joyful life, is determined in 
the amount of passion you have for it.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time...and meet myself as a kid!

Today is a gift...

enjoy!

So today, I have been busy cleaning out closets and getting rid of things to give to a goodwill.  Being a Nana, has it's perks...
it's easy to get rid of toys, that are broken, or some of the pieces
have gone by the wayside, or got lost under the couch,
or that dark hole in the closet, 
and under the bed.

Last week I got a call from Katfish,
a grandson who lives over in Kuna, Idaho.
He was so excited to tell me
that he and his Tia Starr, had cleaned out his toy room
and he had a BIG tote, full of toys he was
going to give to someone else.

He sounded so happy!

I know that his Momma, and Aunt had prepared
him for the joy of sharing, 
and it was magical! 
He was "giving Christmas" before the actual
day of giving was here.


These were toys he had played with and loved,
but had out grown.

 

The more we share...the more we have!

Then he said the sweetest thing,
"I'd give them all away, if I could come and visit with you
and Pap...you are more fun than toys!"

And he's right, human interaction will always
trump any gameboard or toy.
The more we give of ourselves, our time,
our love of life...the more investment
we make in the future. 

Time with Pap...is just sweet magic.
He chases, grabs "gizzards" and tickles the young ones 
to tears.  I go for stories, and making
wooden spoon bread, building blocks...and bubble baths
with songs as they are tucked in,
and it does not matter how 
old they are.

The summer our oldest grandson,
came to stay by himself, for a couple of weeks, 
was so wonderful.

One night as we were talking, he made the comment
that he was so grateful for this visit, because
it would be the last time he could really
be a kid.  Next birthday
he would be "12"...and become an adult.


That made a big old lump form in my throat.
Cause, I remember feeling exactly the 
same just before I turned 12.

Even though I was the oldest of six,
and had a lot of responsibility, I knew that turning twelve
was going to change that sphere of stewardship.

Now I am in my sixties...the sphere of
adulthood, motherhood, sisterhood,
auntie...Nana
has changed the way I do everything.

Mainly, I am not the daredevil I used to be.
I would still ride the Ferris wheel, but forget about getting on
the roller-coaster!

Climbing a mountain, has taken a back seat 
to riding through those beautiful
mountain passes, and taking pictures instead.

Still have dreams, that I want to accomplish.
I guess that part of childhood
will never dissipate.

The spirit of a child, has given me the greatest gift.

More than anything, I realize that
if I want to be happy...
well I just need to
be!

 

Always fall asleep with a dream,

and wake with a purpose!

There is a calmness to a life ~ lived in gratitude...a quiet joy*

Be gratedful for small things

and big things...

and all the in between things.

I think the older I get, the more I am attune to

the littlest things that make my heart smile.

Tonight as the sun was setting, the most incredible feeling of well being came to me.  I had stepped out on the porch to

bring in a couple of pieces of wood, for 

the stove.

There was a gentle breeze of wind, and the glacier lilies

were everywhere...a Stellar Jay, was honing in for 

one more treat of the day.  Bird seed is scattered randomly

and will make for happy robins when they make 

their debut.

I thought about my Mom, and how she worked so hard

to create a little piece of heaven on earth.

Most days it worked.

On the days it didn't,  the greatest creator of all,

always took up the slack...really he 

just enhanced everything she

put into place. 

Every flower must grow through dirt!

I love spring.

I love the promise of new birth that is evident everywhere.

Like the fading colors of fall, I look forward

to the brightness of new green

just busting out all over.

I enjoy getting out in the dirt, turning it over,

raking up the debris that has accumulated in all those

unassuming corners on the property.

I look forward to seeing things grow, getting my herbs

planted in their respective baskets...hanging color

pots off the porch...maybe even putting

a new coat of paint on the front door.

 

I am so grateful to be at a point in my years, where

I don't have to rush all the time, well unless I choose to.

It amazes me how much more time

I now, have for life!

There is beauty in the most common things,

to those who have eyes to see.

When I look at my herbs...I think of future soups,

artisan breads, and the flavor of

life enhanced.

I think of time spent cooking with family, of LG's

marinara that is a treat to the world.

I think of the first time he cooked for us on the

beach, in South Carolina.

I think of the years ahead to create more memories,

but I also give thanks for the experiences

the past affords us.

 

Some things just fill your heart

without trying...

May the blessings of light be on you~

LIGHT

Life doesn't come with an instruction manual.
We learn by what we do, 
what we see
and the things we share with those
who walk the path with us.

Surround yourself with those
who choose not to stumble~

It has been a wild and crazy month of March. 

But we do live in the mountains.
When we first moved here back in 2008
it snowed 11" on June the 11th, 
I wondered what the heck I had gotten myself into.
I have adjusted.
Now everyday is an adventure, and putting into practice
the art of living well, in spite of the weather!

The best feelings are those that have 
no 
words to describe them!

One of our children survived a horrible accident
yesterday.  Fell, through the roof he was
working on.

When I got the call, I had a premonition that it 
was going to be bad news, before I said
"Hello".

Tears followed, and then sobs of gratfulness
that his injuries were not more serious.

"Your faith, will perform miracles...especially when
 you get your hands and feet involved."

~Gordon  B Hinckley

His recovery, will be long, and painful.
But he is the purest example of someone who does not 
give up.  His life has been full of
challenges.

His favorite phrase, after the initial shock wears off.
"Next!"

His example of never, never giving up,
laughing till he cries...and
finding the beauty in every lesson,
inspires me.

Through tumult and trial he finds a paradise.
Paradise is not a place we are going...
it is a place we are from.
We can go there at any moment, anytime.
The sacredness of the moment
is the key to peace,
to finding true freedom...
to rising above the challenge!

 

Never lose and opportunity to see anything

that is beautiful,

it is God's handwriting...

a wayside sacrament~

If you only say one prayer a day...make it, THANK YOU~

The secret of having it all...is knowing you already do.

So today is my daughter, Britt's birthday.
She came into the world, with red curly hair, that eventually turned
smokey blonde.  But her eyes are green, and she
has the temperament of an Irish lass.

What a life she has had.

When in second grade she was attacked by a boxer, while
playing in the backyard at a friends.
Lucky for her, a plastic surgeon was just coming off shift
and agreed to stay and work on her, when 
she was admitted to the ER.
Her nose was hanging by a thread, and a big hunk of her lip
had been bitten off, plus puncture wounds galore,
all on her lovely face.

By the time I got to the hospital, her Dad and Grandfather
were already there holding her sweet little hands
and whispering words of courage.
I took one look at her, and the doctor
asked me to please leave, before I passed out and they
had two patients to stitch up.

Long story short, she looked like a miniature Frankenstein
when she was finally put back together.   Two days
later she was back at school, just daring anyone
to make fun of her face.

She healed up beautifully, and if you didn't know the accident had
happened you would not know that the little crease
on the bridge of her nose, was reconstructive.

 

Why fit in, when you were born to stand out?

This incident is just the beginning of a lifetime of 
challenges, but her story is, hers to tell.

She went on to qualify for the Chess team in Jr. High,
loved ballroom dancing, and can do math figures
in her head.  She is a hiker, a camper, a pyromaniac who
loves to build bonfires, in a snowbank
in the dead of winter.

She lost her husband, a childhood sweetheart, to a head-on
collision.   Now she is raising,
two little man cubs who call her Mommy.

She has become the "tinkerer" in her family, and does not
back down from a challenge when something gets broke.
She tries to figure it out.  It that doesn't work she will make a
call to her Dad, and they come up with a plan of action!

 

The thing that delights me , is she still calls when
her babies are sick...
when fixing a favorite dish,
when humbled with daily crisis's, 
neighbors dogs gone wild...
missing rent checks in the mail,
chapped hands that nothing she has tried will heal.
or...
just to say "hello".

Stay humble

Work hard

Be kind

 

She was born, three days after my thirtieth birthday.
I tell her, she was the best
present I ever got.

She has lived a lot of life...is a survivor in heartache, 
and at the end of the day, she can still
kneel in a prayer of thanks.

Don't think of the things you didn't get after praying...

Think of the countless blessings

God, gave you without 

asking!

If you only say one prayer a day,

make it

Thank you~

If the road is easy...you're likely going the wrong way.

 

"Be of good cheer...

your future is as bright as your faith!"

~Thomas S Monson

Once upon a time there was a little girl, who grew into

a teenager, who grew into a woman,

who married the love of her life.

And then

the story began.

One of my earliest memories of married life.
For the most part it was bliss...
honest,
 so when I share this just know, that it is part of the story.

I grew up in a home of modest means, as did my new husband.
We gleaned from the land, cooked almost everything
from scratch.  Forty, years later I can testify
that from scratch is 100's better in every regard...pocket book,
taste, and presentation. 


We had been married a few months.
Still newly weds.
It was fall, the days were still hot, but the evenings brought a nice change in temperature.  I had prepared
a skillet dish, with chopped potatoes, bell peppers, ground beef,
seasonings...and pieces of
beautiful, succulent summer squash.
The aroma, was savory and inviting.

 The table was set for two,
 candles lit and
homemade rolls nestled in a basket.

I was so excited, when my guy got home and said, 
"Umm smells delicious!"
Five minutes later, after washing up and blessing the 
food, I dipped up his plate.
He was busy slathering some butter all over his hot roll.  
Setting his plate in front of him, I expected him to start wolfing it down.
Instead he looked at it with such derision.  
Jumped up
with plate in hand, marched over to sink and proceeded to
scrape his food into the
garbage disposal

"I don't eat squash!"

To be honest with you, I cannot remember the exactness
of what unfolded after that outburst.
Our mind truly does have a way of protecting a broken heart.


I'm sure it was not pleasant, sure there were tears on my part, and
probably a few hours of wondering what the heck I had
gotten myself into.

This thing called marriage.

"The heavens will not be filled with those

who never made mistakes!"

~Dieter F Uchtdorf


Well, just a couple of days ago, we celebrated
forty years of marriage.

We have figured it out.  Number one thing:
I do not cook anything with 
squash.  :)

My guy, has more than made up for that little outburst,
and I have forgiven him, except every now 
and then I have to tell somebody about
it in case they think we are
THE PERFECT
couple.

We are not.
We are just two people who have refused to give up
on each other.

Two people, who are tender with each others hearts,
number one champions of each other, in
success, and rallying in picking ourselves up,
dusting each other off, and trying again, when we stumble
and fall.

We are honest with each other.
This has been a character trait refined with time.
I'm not going to lie, this was a hard thing for me to internalize
and apply.  Lucky me,I had a man, who was to dang stubborn and not going to give up on me. 
 Time has a way of teaching you truth.

1)  Get over it!
2)  Deal with it head on.
3)  Don't forget how fun it can be making up
4)  Formulate a plan of action, that resolves what you are facing.
5)  Thank God, for the lesson.
 

Very little is needed to make a happy life~

We are still simple folk.

Love rides in the country.
Hunting in the mountains, a good book, 
golden sunsets, rain on a tin roof,
the flicker of a campfire,
the silence of a new fallen snow.

Wildflowers in a meadow, the gurgle of a brook, and the rush
of a rising river, while fishing...or not.
Games and adventure with our grand children.
The honk of geese in the sky as 
they head out. 
Laughing out loud, when it is warranted! 

Home made bread, fresh from the oven.
The delights of perfecting your craft.
LG, makes ice cream
that countries would fight over. 

And so, so much more...

We have found that it is in the shelter of 
each other, that we truly
live...
and if the road is easy, 
you're likely going the wrong way~

Maybe it's not about HAPPILY EVER AFTER...maybe it's about the journey

Happy Anniversary Babe!

 

Sometimes what we learn and who we become in the 

process of "waiting"...is even more important

than what we are waiting for...

All I ever wanted to be, from the time I was a little girl,

was to be married, have children, make a home in a cabin in 

the mountains, and live happily 

ever after.

I am sixty years young, and all of the above has happened, and

some still unfolding.

I married my blue-eyed bandit, whole stole my heart at "Hello".

I have five tremendous children, who have blessed us

with ten grandsons, and one beautiful grand daughter.

My sweet man and I are living in a cabin, in the mountains...of Idaho...

and we are still working on happily, ever after.

Prayer is not asking...

it is a longing of the soul.  It is the daily admission

of one's weakness.  It is better in

prayer to have a heart without words...

than words without a heart.

The journey has been racked with hundreds of "rocks in the river".

Experiences that make you know, it takes a lot of  water,

to make a rough stone smooth.

Shortly after we were married we purchased an old '56 Willy's Jeep.

Our intent was to have that puppy running, and 

the world of adventure was ours for the taking.  Running we got it,

but there was a price.  It drank quarts upon quarts of oil, everytime

we cranked it and started down the road.

We bankrupted ourselves, before life had even begun!

We hung onto it, until, at a point down the road, we needed some cash, and realized that there was a market, for old Willy's Jeeps.

However in between adventure and reality...

we had some memorable rides!

One time we had taken it out for a climb up Y mountain, in Utah.

The trip up, was full of breath taking sights, and squeals of

delight from our baby son, who was old enough to

look out the window, and "take a gander".

We forded a creek or two, and stopped to hike around and 

eat a picnic.

All to soon, the day was coming to a close,

The sun was starting to set, and it was time to head for home.

As we started back down that bumpy two track, we lost 

all of the forward gears in our transmission.

The only way down, was going

to be in reverse.

It was dark.  Our headlights were in front of the 

jeep, lighting the path we had just crossed, in the 

rear.

Grand, has the courage of a lion, and the soul of a saint,

with a few expletives.  I was just plain terrified.

Prayer, took on a new dimension.

I remember looking up at the stars, and thinking they were

so perfect in their glory.  In our circumstance

they seemed to be shining brighter!

 

My little son, had his whole life before him,

"Please dear God, just keep us from taking a curve to sharp,

send an army of angles, to hold this old jeep on the mountain,

please, please, please...I will devote the rest of 

my life to honoring your name."

Well I'm here telling the story.

We got off the mountain, and got the tranny fixed, son has 

grown into a great man in his own right,

with a sweet little 

family he drags out on one adventure 

after another.

But I will never forget the promises I made

in that urgent, frantic prayer.

It has molded my life.

To feel so hopelessly out of control, and yet the absolute

caretaker of a little one, who depends on you and 

his father for everything!

Horrible, glorious, sense of responsibility.

 I understand, just a little bit more the magnitude of love

and desires our Father in Heaven

has for each of us.

 

My LeGrand, found me.

I know, that we knew each other before, life on 

earth began.

I dated the good,  the bad, and the ugly...while I was waiting.

When the day came for our first date, I was going to break it.

After all it was a blind date...he didn't know what

he'd be missing, and neither did I!

Ha...

I'm so glad I didn't.  So grateful, for the little voice I heard,

when I went to dial his number and cancel, that 

said, "Jamie, you can't do that."

When I peeked through the window of the front door,

a few hours later, my heart just seized up.

My heart recognized an

eternal promise.

There he stood, in his cowboy hat, flannel shirt,

and levis.  I knew that eventually

we would have our cabin 

in the mountains.

 

"I believe that appreciation is a holy thing, that when we look

for  what's  best in the person we happen to be with 

at the moment, we're doing what God does...

we are participating in something truly sacred."

~Mr. Rogers~